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Anger can get us into hot water

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by Cristina Nuta -

Each one of us has moments of great tension when he or she feels the need to shout, to break something or to swear. These crises are caused by different problems we have to face: our children have taken a low mark, they have lied to us, our husband spent the money at the casino and the enumeration can go on. Still, sometimes, we are too stressed, to tired, we fell the routine around us and this makes us feel disappointed and, therefore, the need to react somehow, even if this means yelling to the dear persons around us, although they have nothing to do with our mood. Anger can get us into hot water- and bottling up things only makes matters worse. But you can do more than simply gnash the teeth.

Anger is one of the most commonly felt emotions, yet relatively few o f us know how to cope with it effectively. Shouting, swearing, and hitting inanimate objects are common responses to the age-old problem of expressing our often accumulated frustrations. Nevertheless, losing control is more likely to lead to humiliation than vindication.

So, we learn not to control. In public, our tension is held in check by the urge to hold on to our dignity, whilst the extent of our reaction to any event will depend on unsolved issues from the past. People tend to carry learned responses, so if parents scream or fall into awkward silences when they are cross, their offspring will probably do the same.

Conversely, a child may be terrified with anger because one of his parents had no control over their temper. As a result, the child may repress his own feelings, often expressing them inappropriately or channelling them internally and thus feeling depressed. In fact, depression is often called 'internal anger'.

Self-expression is the key to dealing with anger. Although there are no hard and fast rules for how best to achieve this, burying the debris is probably the least productive method. Physical release through exercise can be effective- even working out at the gym may help.

Strange as it sounds, I've seen tension in relationships evaporate through pillow or water fights. In an emergency, shouting is a parked car, or hitting a pillow with a tied towel are also good methods relief, although these methods are considerably less demure than writing it all down in a diary.
Anger can get us into hot water written by Cristina Nuta for FamousWhy.com
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Tags: anger, hot, tension, shout, swear, problems, crisis



Category: Education  - ( Education Archive)

Date Added: 31 July '07


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